The “A” word

Wowza! September has flown by. I cannot believe we have been in our house for a whole month already! Moments ago I set up our online account for recurring monthly mortgage payments…eeek! I told Brent that I think every time we make a payment I should go to the grocery store and buy an affordable ($10 or less) arrangement of flowers. lol. He looked at me sideways and while I love this idea the truth is I won’t. I hate spending money on- anything. Case and point, tonight I ran to goodwill and spent 28$ on a combination of used clothes and house stuff, and I could not have felt more guilty. I think I may have a problem. Perhaps my frugal mind has gotten slightly out of control when I feel bad about buying used clothes for me and the kiddos. I have mentioned in earlier posts that spending guilt is a problem. You should never feel bad about making a purchase when it betters yourself or your family. I mean seriously, sometimes a cup of coffee IS sanity and other times a new pair of slacks or shoes IS required for work. It’s a gift to be able to afford it and we work hard…we should enjoy it! Ugh, I’ll simmer the internal debate for now and move on…

Now that the first month is behind us it is time to get back to basics, budget Analysis. All moving costs are paid and set up fees taken care of, as the bills come in we are able to see what our new budget is going to look like.Truth be told this is terrifying. Of course we have an idea, we crunch numbers pretty regularly and I over-analyze everything; but what’s scary is the idea of the unexpected. Now we have a washer and dryer, what will that do to our electric? We are in a completely different property what are heating and cooling costs going to amount to? And in NC you pay for water, this is something we have never done and in the apartment it was included…scary, scary, scary. Every time the girls run to get the mail I get mixed emotions. I get excited because (like a child) we have mail in our new home, but then instantly I worry about what’s inside the little white business envelope. It’s a funny thought isn’t it? When we are young we are scared of anything big and oversized, even if it’s hollow and stuffed, but as we get older the smallest of seemingly nothing can interrupt the joy of a day to day life. It really doesn’t take much to ruin our day, why is that? And bills, money, finances are the heart of taking the best morning and turning it into one really shitty day with little chance at redemption. Perhaps what I need is more reflection and less analysis, but analysis is what I’m good it. I can analyze anything I should’ve been a lawyer really, but what I need to do is further develop my skill set so maybe yoga could help? 

Food for thought…



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