Motherhood is the point at which frugality meets high value. Don’t quite understand? Well, where else can you pinch pennies, and still provide bountifully? Watch dimes, but get paid high dollar? Know each and every cost of everything on the shelf- sales, clearance, mark-ups, but not recognize that you, yourself, are priceless? This friends, is motherhood. Where frugality truly meets high value…
With Mother’s Day only a few days away everyone is talking about their mom, posting TB pictures, remembering all that their mom has done for them. Thinking about the past, the present and for some, the future of being a mother themselves; I much appreciate a recent radio promo that said “what mom really wants is time.” This is absolutely true. Flowers are pretty and chocolate is yummy but time to simply be, is by far the best, and not to mention most cost-effective, gift I could receive. Time to be- with my family, with my girls, with myself, time to remember and time to cherish. Cherish the age and the moment; a day to reflect on all that I have given to create, and each day, work to develop these little humans. It automatically ties the past with the present. I sit in awe watching these little girls and often think about some of my favorite memories with my mom. Dancing to Tiffany in the living room, talking about boys when I was in JR. High, being the first to call and tell just about any news to, even today she is my best friend. Sure we have had our hardships, I think its par for the course with parents and children; but I could only hope that Madilyn and Charlotte think of me in merely half the light I think of my own mother. She paid such a huge price for me; giving when she had nothing to give, providing and loving when that was the only currency in her bank account and yet for me that was always enough. I didn’t need anything more. I never went without and I hope to be able to pay this and more for my children.
Yes, you pay a price in motherhood, I have said the unspoken words; but really, you pay a price for everything. Heck, water isn’t even free in 2014 so of course parenthood isn’t going to be. Motherhood is unique in its price though because there are so many lessons to be shared and learned about how to spend wisely as a mother but yet sharing our stories and embracing the trade secrets of ‘business’ success often turns into ridicule. Not to get into a rant, but one of my biggest pet peeves is mother-to-mother judgment. Talk about animals eating their own kin! Do not judge me for the choices that are best for me, my child and my family. What works for one will not work for another and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is wonderful if you want to work…go for it! It is wonderful if you want to stay home, relish in it! Neither is harder than the other, nor is either one easy by any stretch. Sure, ‘breast may be best’ but I was a formula baby and, although arguable, I think I turned out okay and I certainly don’t remember getting asked what I was fed as an infant on my college application. I think it’s awesome you had a great labor without pain meds, way to go! but please do not make me feel like my ability to deliver two full developed human beings is less of an experience because I opted for the epidural. And I’m sorry to burst the bubbles of any and all (nor do I mean to scare anyone) but labor is not the most beautiful thing, the process of growing and delivering a child into the world from start to finish is the beauty; labor itself hurts like hell and “beauty” is not exactly a descriptive I’d go with. It’s not about your choices that makes motherhood the hardest job, it’s motherhood. All of it. So before you judge me or the next mom who tells you she may not want to breastfeed or has decided to homeschool, try a lesson I guarantee you are teaching your own child…think before you speak and this Mother’s Day remember that every mother has earned their title and furthermore does not need to explain themselves for it. They deserve love and uplifting moments to credit their account for the difficult ones.
28 wks with Madilyn Ruth 29 wks with Charlotte Elise
I digress. Often moms are the epitome of frugality. Their purse strings are tied tightly with hair ribbons and dirty socks, “no” is usually the highest charge and with low interest rates of sleep paid out. We are able to maximize credit with late night cuddles and often find our best balance from “overdrawing” our patience account is a lot of love and affection. There are days when it doesn’t always balance out and sometimes I know I go to bed feeling like I have nothing left in any account but I also know my ‘savings’ is always full. Regardless of what was “spent” that day, when I see them tucked in tight I instantly deposit insurmountable love and appreciation into my account; because loving something more than yourself is the price you pay for motherhood.
Never have I ever cherished a 4″ painted pot before. I love all of the handmade crafts that are permanent reminders of this little being that someday will be a memory of just that. Motherhood is a constant struggle but also a constant reminder of worth and value. I never considered myself to be anything more, or less I should say, than “the cheapest woman I live” but I have a mother’s depository that earns some of the highest rates possible and for that I already consider myself the Bill Gates of Mommywood.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out there. Past, present and future. Biological, step, surrogate; adopted, foster, or temporary; godmothers, grandmothers, and mothers-in-law; to all young and old; soon-to-be, wish-to-be and hope-to-be. You are loved… you are rich… and you are worth it.
UPDATE: Shortly after this was written on Thursday, May 8 I heard giggling and joyous laughter, coming from a bedroom. A beautiful perfume scent was quickly filling the air and when I went to see what they were doing this is what I found in a corner of their bedroom tucked behind a chair…
for Mother’s Day, in addition to time, I would like (and need) new make-up.