I’m not a collected mom/wife/woman. In fact, I’m the exact opposite. Case and point, two weeks ago I left not one, but two grocery carts about half-full of goods abandoned in the store…on the same damn day. I tend to lose it sometimes. I’ve been known to put myself in a timeout instead of the kiddos and I try, really really really hard to keep it all together and fail miserably most of the time. I’m the kind of mom who rushes out the door in a craze five days a week trying not to forget a lunchbox, coats, a shoe, a child or heaven forbid my coffee. My hair is usually thrown up in a bun or wet and drab, I do my make-up in the car (while Brent is driving) and to be completely honest, the days that lapse between showers…let’s just say I should be ashamed. I could continue on, but you get the drift.
All of this is why today was a day for the history books. It started when the girls were gleefully up at 4:15am. I contemplated fighting the battle for just a few more extra mins of sleep but they were in such a good mood I decided to go with it, hoping they wouldn’t wake Ashley. By 6:30am two breakfasts had been served (for each child), kids dressed, hair curled specifically to each child’s request, teeth brushed and backpacks ready- and that was just them. I had the opportunity to get a mini workout in, shower, dry my hair, use hot rollers, apply make-up, and make and consume an entire cup of coffee and a piece of toast! Drop-offs went without a single meltdown, traffic reported accidents everywhere and somehow I made it to work 10 mins early, fast forward to the end of the workday and pick-up, snacks, soccer practice, dinner made (not bought!) and bedtime routine all done by 7:55pm. I got to wash my make up off, put on sweats, pour a glass of wine and enjoy some chocolate before 8p.
Let me just say I don’t know who’s life this is but for today I’ve enjoyed it. I would love to think that tomorrow could be a repeat of today but let’s be real, and I’m okay with the reality. I’ll hold on knowing that days like today really do exist. For many people this doesn’t seem like much, I get it and you can think it’s pointless, it’s cool; but for me- a working mom of two, with high standards for home, family and self, especially with the hubby completely disconnected from the world somewhere in the deep woods of Colorado, this is certainly a day worth noting because it is highly unlikely to ever happen again.
Self-reflection can be terrifying, but every once in a while something sparks a flame. For those who don’t know I’ve started taking classes again. It’s my way of easing into a PhD program. My first class is a Family Leadership & Dev. course. It has been very intriguing right from the start. The type of class that makes you understand lifelong educators. Case and point, this week our discussion was on a YouTube video of Sir Ken Robinson discussing the evolution of education (p.s. video recommended) Not only was the video brilliant in both content it was thought-provoking and affirming. It reminded me why I do what I do and why my love lives in education and leadership. So much so that I felt compelled to share my HW post about personal obstacles. The prompt was the following: Obstacles and struggles are an integral part of life. Reflect on Ken Robinson’s video. What obstacles have you encountered in your quest to be a leader in your profession (in school, in your family, etc)? How have you overcome them (or have you?)?
Here is my post/reflection, your Sunday evening food for thought, and a little more insight to being and becoming more than a Frugal Fowler Mommy.
To identify one struggle or obstacle seems to be just that. Not because i haven’t had any, quite the contrary. I’ve had many, but I often chose the path of onward and upward. So much so that I often avoid self-reflection. Growth is the result of experience. If I can strengthen my skills without examination, why do I need to understand? Perhaps this is why I was so inspired by Sir Robinson’s final point, “The pain of containing our failure to understand ourselves is greater than the pain it would take to go on the journey.”
My obstacle is my failure to embark on a journey with myself, to leave my personal comfort zone. I’m scared of what creatures could live along this path. It’s not to say I’ve never wandered there a time or two. As a grad student aka: counselor in training, I sat on both sides. I learned quickly that one is far more uncomfortable than the other. I feel as though I have done enough to understand what makes me tick, where my weaknesses lie and what I need to do to move forward but I know I haven’t yet done enough. It’s a journey and challenge I haven’t completely committed to. I’m working toward it and while I often face professional challenges that help me to learn and grow, I would be doing an injustice to myself if I didn’t credit my personal life for the true push to take on this adventure. As a mother of two young girls I want to inspire them to be strong, confident women who know and believe in themselves. I cannot do this if I do not lead by example. It is a daily challenge (and adventure) that helps me further develop in all aspects of my life. This holistic approach is similar to the one discussed in the video, only on an individualized level. Furthermore, understanding that we are organisms and not mechanisms is a key reminder to forgiving oneself and taking a gentle approach to self-care and growth. Something all professionals, leaders, parents, and I should do.
I have a long way to go but feel as though I have started down the pay, slowly.