Today marks my sixth Mother’s Day. A day that praises, spoils and extends copious amounts of love to moms everywhere. A Day, much like any holiday, that comes with unnecessary expectations on all accounts. I don’t mean to be cynical and I’m by no means a Veteran at this Mom-thing but I’d like to think I learn and grow, as my children are; and today was no different, literally.
Of course it started out just as predictable as one would imagine; “sleeping” late while my beautiful family made a beautiful mess making me breakfast in bed (this is not to sound ungrateful-I’m truly grateful, I’m just painting a visual); the house I cleaned yesterday in anticipation for today was strung with crayons, toys, clothes, and food. Really? How long was I in bed for?? But I smiled and could see the weighted effort that was invested. Brent was trying so hard to make this a special day and my little ladies were bantering about being kind to me because it was Mom’s Day. My heart melted about a dozen times just seeing how hard my family was trying, all for me. It seemed undeserving because it is. Being a mom is just part of me, no celebration needed.
Then as quickly as I melted…so did they. The routine clothes argument, hunger pains and incessant whining, that only a three-year old is truly capable of, was the reality of my morning. We didn’t make it to church, for all the reasons stated above testing by ability to be punctual (clearly, I failed today). We made an attempt to try a new coffee shop but they are closed on Sundays, a true testament to living south of the MD. So we decided to hit up one of our favorite little outdoor spots in North Raleigh, we didn’t even make it through the village without rain, high pitch squeals and tears. So we went to our default, Starbucks-which actually was a less than stellar experience in and of itself. Cranky baristas and ridiculous lines, neither of which I’m a fan of. Brent kept apologizing but there was absolutely nothing to be sorry for, truly. This was all very apropos for the life we lead and I would have it no other way. Well, on second thought, the fake whistle in the back seat I could do without but that’s okay. There will be good days, there will be crazy days. I will lose and regain my composure and do it all over again lord knows how many times.
I kept having these thoughts throughout the day and again on our way home tonight. Why the pressure? Why is Mother’s Day supposed to be different? It seems more like false advertising. Being a mom is hard. Rewarding, but hard. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, working mom, SAHM, Dad’s who are Moms, the hardest job is being a Mom. So while I understand the sentiment of Mother’s Day and I appreciate the effort, let’s be real. Remove the expectation and let it be. Truth be told, the “I love you” I get on Mother’s Day, the hugs, the smiles, the moments of peace- these all mean just as much to me every other day of the year. Breakfast in bed was nice but I love to cook so it’s neither here nor there, and let’s be real as soon as Charli can sit through brunch like a human being, I have every intention of getting up early for that! Of course, I do appreciate having a reason to gather with friends for celebration and fellowship but I cherish it just as much without one and really… who needs one? You do it for love, the same reason I became a mom, for love. So tonight, as I sit and reflect on the crazy day that Mother’s Day 2015 was I shake my head at the silly expectations surrounding it. I smile at the efforts and love my family invested and while I would like to say that one of the best gifts I received was the well-thought, hot pink coffee to-go mug, the wine, or better yet, the uninterrupted shower I took for a solid 12-15 minutes, a girl can find a whole new self when shaving without an audience; but neither of these are it. Without a doubt, hands down, the best gift I received today was all in a moment. An experience that cost not even a cent but is priceless in my memory and big thanks to my husband for capturing it. When frustrations got high and everyone was truly about to lose it (after already doing so a few times today) when the rain was falling hard, both inside and out, I decided to do something different. Instead of the mother-daughter tug of war I decided to dance.
Happy Mother’s Day. ox