No, I don’t want any damn biscuits.

The waitress came over and asked “Can I bring ya’ll some biscuits?” To which I replied with “umm, no, thanks, I’m all set.” She then turned to my girlfriend and said “what about you?” My friend responded with “I think I’m good.” This confused the waitress somehow and she had to double check with my friend, “so, you do want a biscuit?” I thought to myself, how is she confused? The bottom-line, no biscuits. Two seconds later the waitress came back with one biscuit and placed it in front of me. :::FacePalm::::  I looked at my friend, chuckled and said “Did I talk out loud?”

This quick exchange is the summation of the last ten days of my life. Do you ever feel like the path of thoughts to words has been seriously interrupted? Regardless of the topic, or whom I am talking with, I have had a horrible breakdown of communicative ability. I cannot make the thoughts that are streamlined in my mind come out of my mouth and when I do clearly I have no voice to command. It literally feels like my thoughts are foggy and it’s uber frustrating. Planning anything feels overwhelming, making a decision of any sort bares the weight of the world and having a notable conversation to execute understanding and derive resolution …well that’s just a joke at this point. I’ve tried to consider what the cause could be, the rapid onset of what turning 30 has done to me? A lack of sleep? The adjustment to longer days? (but really who complains about more sun!?) Carolina allergies? Baby brain? (All moms know you can claim this when your kids are any age) Honestly, I have no effing clue. I’m frustrated and emotional, something else I don’t do well with, and I’m over it.

So what’s my plan? Well today I’m going to embrace a new day and a new week. Starting with church and then hitting the sand. I’m hoping for some R&R and family time. Here’s to faith, family, friends and fun in the sun helping me find my reset button. I’ll let you know how it turns out…

Follow-up: As I read through before hitting publish Charli is having a complete meltdown about a pancake. Clearly she’s being dramatic and is in her room until she can pull those big girl undies up; but I cannot help but extend a look of gratitude and empathy. THAT is how I’m feeling. Why can’t I just have a tantrum and move on? Nap-it out, perhaps? #adultingstinks


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